5 Rules That I Live By
What do professional coaching, theater improvisation and modern dance all have in common? At first glance, you may think that they have nothing in common. However, they all share five rules that I choose to live by. I believe that they help me to live a thoughtful, empathetic, and engaged life.
You may be thinking this is a random assortment of activities, but let me explain a little more. First, I spent a solo weekend escaping the daily grind and jumped into a theater improvisation class as a way to challenge myself. As it turns out, I spend most of my time improving my way through life! This was profound for me to learn. Knowing this validated my love of a loose structure with room to be creative within it. It’s also important to mention that I spent 20 years of my life training to become a professional modern dancer. Maybe these interests are foreign to you, but try on these five rules that I live by and let your intuition come alive!
1. No mistakes (my personal favorite)
The next time you feel like you’ve made a mistake, what if you struck a pose and said “Ta Da!” and then moved on. In a modern dance, if you forget choreography, you just keep going and make it up until you can catch up the choreography again. Clearly in improv, the bobbles are the funniest parts. I love watching a comedian crack up during a skit and it just makes me giggle more. When I’m coaching someone I can’t really make a mistake if I’m non-judgmental, practicing active listening, empathetic, and keep the session in line with what they want to achieve. What if you lived your life with the belief that there were no mistakes and that everything happened for reason. I invite you to strike a pose, flash a jazz hand, and let out a “Ta, Da!” and most importantly, MOVE ON. Reflect back to see what you can learn from the experience and incorporate it into your behaviors.
2. Say yes, and…
When in conversation with someone else, try saying “Yes, and…”, followed by your point of view. You are simply offering your view point in addition to what has been just said. On the contrary, if you were to say “Yes, but…” you are negating what the person has just said creating a wider gap between the two of you. There’s always room for more points of view, and it doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. In theater or dance improvisation, the goal is to keep the scene, story or movement flowing without a clear ending. When using this strategy, you build onto what the person has said or done. Try this tool with co-workers while discussing a hot topic or when you’re working to improve your communication skills.
3. Engaged and Focused
Multitasking is NOT an option when you are engaged and focused. In theater improv, you would lose track of the story line. In modern dance you get kicked by your fellow dancer, and you would certainly be an ineffective coach if you were not 100% engaged. So, let’s put down the phone, turn off the screen, turn your body to face the other person, and push pause on any person agenda that you have. To fully engage and focus, one needs to be living in the present moment.
4. Active Listening
Active listening is the backbone of my coaching practice. Acknowledging and validating the client for how they feel are paramount. In theater improv, active listening is the response to the other person. This response helps them know that you understood what they intended. In modern dance, your communication with your body. The choreographer has a specific look and story and it’s the dancers job is to bring it to life. In all formats, you’re letting the other person know that you can see things from their perspective. There is a phrase called “SHU”, which stands for see, heard, and understood. When you practice active listening, you validate the other person and begin to help them feel seen, heard and understood too.
5. No Blocking
Don’t judge yourself or others with the purpose of shutting them (or you down.) In theater improv, when you block someone you redirect their energy away from the scene and stop the flow of the dialogue. In modern dance, you stop the movement flow. In coaching, energy blocks are stories that we tell ourselves that limit what we can do or believe. Rather, what would it look like to see the small opportunities all around and be open to engage with them? The first step is to become aware of when you are blocking or limiting yourself and others. Next, create another way to respond and realize that you have a choice.
Is there a rule that you would like to incorporate into your life, but not sure how? Let's talk! I offer 30-minute complimentary coaching sessions where you experience powerful coaching. You will see huge benefits when you create time to become aware of your current patterns, create opportunities for growth, and then reflect about what you learned. I’m always here to support you in any way that I can!
Xo,
Tracy